Reflections
by WinterierLionheart
Summary: Looking at Yuuki Pants Kaname Perfectly Conceded Prince and Zero Weirdo BadAss in a completely different light! If you don't laugh don't worry it was free.
1. Pants, PrincePerfectlyConceded, WeirdoBA

Reflections on Vampire Knight.

Well I'm sure all you here have by now watched Vampire Knight, yes? Well if you haven't why the hell are you here and if you have you should be able to see what I'm talking about here. I am writing this little ditty on what I have found between two beloved vampire series. Twilight and Vampire Knight. Now we both know which is my favorite of course, because I write on it.. I won't focus much on Twilight though in fact I won't really mention it after this but do try and think a little after you read this and compare a little and you will see they are the same fucking story. The only difference is in the language pretty much. Don't get me wrong, of course, I have read Twilight several times and watched all of Vampire Knight at least twice. But then again I'm just like every other stupid teenage girl out there. I do have to admit I like Vampire Knight a lot better. Then again after reading this if you don't hate me I will be shocked to tell the truth. I honestly don't try to breed haters I just feel like writing this …and I don't really care much lately of what is thought of me. Oh well I hope you find the sense of humor to laugh at this and if you don't I'm truly sorry you even read it.

We start with Pants! Yes pants, that is what I will call her. Some call her Yuki, and I will simply call her, yes that is right Pants. Why do I call her Pants you may ask? Well think of it this way—no in fact we'll take this step by step. Lets start with appearances, Pants(remember this is Yuki) has nothing overly remarkable about her face, her body, or her hair. Her hair is a plain mousy brown, but depending on the person describing it, it varies in color, from a light brown to a dark brown. Her Eyes, well almost every character in this story has some remarkable eyes, yes? Well not Pants! Nope, Pants has nothing special about her eyes. I would call them brown, but oh wait that's something else that would depend on the person describing them! And now to personality. So let us see, she worries about school, worries about the people around her, has troubles with boys, has trouble with her life, has a bestie that we hardly ever see—because of course the show is centered on Pants! Her bestie, by the way, is more recognizable then she is! The little insignificant bestie has short hair, distinct eyes, this girl is more interesting than Pants herself, but that can't be! Not it cannot be at all we must have a story of Pants! Anything else about her, well lets see, oh yes she also…. Well nope no nothing else really. Any remarkable talents to speak of? Oh well she has a nice way of screwing things up for herself. But does that really count as a talent? No I don't' think so. Oh! Oh wait! I have got it! …she's shy. But only with people she doesn't know of course. Then again isn't everyone like that…Well I can think of another! …she's—well she has a stick thingie! That she doesn't know how to use….but—uhm well she can, nope never mind, she's got nothing else going for her.

So what have I just described? I know the obvious answer is of course, Pants! Well no think about it. Almost completely unremarkable in every way, looks that almost completely depend on the viewer and a personality that is as static and flip floppy as a piece of paper in the wind…what is that? Well it sounds to me like every teenage girl I know in almost any country. And yes I am including myself and you the reader(your reading and watching this crap, admit it you're just as unique as everyone else) in to that equation! So this is where the name comes in! She's a pair of pants quite literally, easily slipped on and off by any girl watching. She has self esteem issues and thinks she's an utter failure at most time during the series…omg we have just seen in to the mind of a high schooler. Big freaking whoop. We like watching this because we can do that! Slip Yuuki on like a pair of pants and tada! We have two equally brainless idiot chasing after us for no real apart reason! Every aspect about her form the fact her bestie is hotter to her sometimes completely pointless behavior can be in most cases without even a the slightest tweaking of our minds eye seen back to us as ourselves.

Now we will be proudly moving on to Good Cop, Bad Cop! Ironically though both of these Cops are Quite full of personality, good looks and charm! We'll go through Good Cop first! Lets look at appearances first well striking magenta eyes, very nice, tall, strong, broad, body, perfect face, and of course to top it all off those unmistakable black locks of love and comforting! OMG it's the Brad Pit of Anime! He is the superstar of the series! No one can compare to this Prince Charming! Not only that oh no we don't stop there. This very intelligent Being who from what I gather is far older than any other Character in this entire series is completely devoted to Pants! Oh yes this Old geezer over several Centuries has developed one interest and one interest only, that's right Ladies and Gent's little ol' Pants! He has not other Desire in the World than to Wed this completely bland and boring creature and be her knight in shining armor forever! This four hundred year old virgin has only wish and that is to be with Pants forever and ever and ever, even though she's his sister. He is the epitome of Prince Charming, oh and he's got the fat head to prove it! He is the perfect quintessence of a devoted intelligent emo boy that acts like a prep, dresses like a snob, and scares people like a metal-head. And still all 100 percent for Pants. No other interest is even in his field of vision. I mean seriously? He has no hobbies(besides Pants or himself) no favorites(besides Pants or himself) and little to talk about (besides Pants, or himself) oh yeah this guys so smart. Which, by the way, is interesting, but Mr. Geezer in Shining Armor doesn't even offer to help her with her suitcase at the end! Are you freaking kidding me?

Now to Bad Cop! If any of you out there have every read a poorly comprised romance novel you should most certainly see a pattern here. It happened in every one of those stories, You have a Pants, a Perfectly Conceded Prince and now to our final character, Bad Ass! Now Bad Ass is the one I have always found the most interesting! He if you ask me is the one with the personality! But as always lets take this in steps. Appearance, do I really need to go very far here? I mean come on he is a Rebel without a cause! He's got his cartilage pierced, this eerie weird pale gray hair, and silver eyes! How the hell do you not instantly recognize that! There is no way not to know from even a brief image who this is. Of Course, you see this is Bad Ass! The boy every girl secretly wants instead of Mr. Perfectly Conceded Prince. It just comes with the story. Now what I find interesting about Bad Ass is that like Mr. Geezer his entire existence is revolving around Pants. I know, I know Pants must be some charmer! She's got six million year old pervs who like their sisters chasing after her and a weirdo that got a tattoo when he was like twelve, she is on some roll! And yes that's right Bad Ass is indeed a Weirdo! The guy gets mad at everyone all the time, has no friends (besides Pants) and focuses on nothing besides sucking blood out of Pants…yeah sounds like a creeper to me! The thing is he's still a Bad Ass though! He is most definitely a Creeper, I mean come on, he was molested by his brother when he was little, hates the world, idolizes his forever old same gender sensei, wants to kill Prince Perfectly Conceded with his bare hands, and is obsessed with a nobody! The other two they at least fit in to a steroid type…but this dude naw he's the best out of them all cause I'm sorry, but this dude is just plain weird! I do give him Credit though he does sportive have a separate brain…than again he mostly just thinks about staying human and killing vampires, but you know its better then Perfectly Conceded Prince! His hobbies still make him quite the weirdo, but at least this guy is unique! Not very original but for the series he's got personality.

And of course every other character, theme, event excreta is all just filler stuff because come on the hot stuff is the little love triangle going on anyways! So in the end its all just a bunch of media pumped crap that we never really take the time to sit down and psychoanalyzed.

Any more questions on this little ditty please send them my way I will more then happily answer them. Don't be a stranger and definitely don't be a hater! I'm headed off to sleep and oh if you are reading some of my other stories brief update, I'm planning on Writing a Sequel for Sunrise, The next Chapter of Snow is in the Works and the next Chapter of Cross High will be posted sometime this week end. Cheerio all!


	2. You Would Die Without Me Here!

_I'm bored I don't' want to do my art history catalogue entry so… I decided to elaborate on Pants, Prince Perfectly Conceded, and Weirdo BadAss. I know lame right? Oh and I decided to put this down as mature since I do believe I said fuck in the last one…and if I didn't I will in this one more than likely. Oh and just telling you all( ya know getting ready for the haters!) that these are all my personal opinions. They aren't' what really is unless you think like I do and I seriously doubt they made this Anime to conform to this lame outlook of it, so yeah, if you don't agree with me I don't' really care just so long as I don't get angry emails about it. _

So we are going to over psychoanalyze the first episode! Anyone as excited as me? Yeah well I didn't expect it. First scene! Snow falling gently to the ground! I'm not going to lie my first thought was what the fuck? I hate Christmas movies! And a vampire Christmas movie?! Oh they have gone too far! I mean come on are they really that desperate for a story here! Some writers really just need to step up their game! First lines too this one is a classic "it's cold" no shit! Have you ever had a snow ball fight? It's not exactly Hawaii hun. And then you realize this is supposed to be a way scary opening! Which I was a little confused by the way, you see there are three voices, two people. What the fuck? Where's the third one talking to the girl? And who's the girl and who is the perv? Another question about the perv…why the hell is he out in the middle of nowhere? The little girl I mean you have to start somewhere when you're an orphan so why not a creepy wolf infested forest without a house anywhere in sight? But the perv? Honestly if I was an old pervy vampire my first stop would be like a kindergarten or nice a sunny playground…not the middle of a creepy, wolf infested, cold as shit, winter wonderland! Just saying ya know my common sense tells me they didn't think that one through. Another thing about thee squirt is she looks exactly like I did when I was a kid…well a few differences like I had blue green eyes messier hair and a great big husky the followed me everywhere(the dog by the way is so old now all he does is sleep on my bed… I can't get him off. I tried fetch a while back and he just looked sat me like are you trying to be a wise ass?) Well I guess that why she has the name pants right? She's too flipping compatible.

But anyway back to the story here. The idiot of a perv lets the little squirt fall over herself and then grabs her head. Her head? Dude you are like twice the size of her! Pick the little brat up and devour her that way! The of course the scene I really wanted to se, the perv gets killed. I wanted to see him die but know this has to be PG-13 so we couldn't see Perfectly Conceded Princes fist go through his skull. But think about it wouldn't that have been a freaking awesome scene?! I would have loved it! But of course we have now come to Prince Perfectly Conceded! I'm just going to call him Perfect from now on because his name is just to long to use and I'm really lazy. My first thoughts on seeing this dude and my gaydar went off. He look like a flaming homosexual. Then he licks his hand it just got worse. I could so see him in a gay bar! And he wouldn't be at the bar no he would be the one stripping on the pole, if you get my drift.

Oh but now we get to the best part in the whole first episode I think, this flamingly gay guy who we're not sure if he is a perv or not yet either reaches down to Pants as a little orphan girl and with out another thought in her tiny pea sized brain she takes his flipping hand! What?! Are you freaking kidding me! If I was that girl I'd scream bloody murder and run like hell! A gay guy covered in blood just killed someone in front of me and is now reaching for my had! Awww Hells Naw! That is a creeper! How do even know it he isn't planning on fucking you then sticking his fist through your skull! I mean seriously child, do not talk to strangers is the first safety rule every kindergartner your age should now! Especially if that stranger just killed someone in front of your f-ing face! He even got blood on you! That should be a huge marker right there! This dude is a not cool. What do you flipping need a neon sign on his forehead! But we have already established that this girl is an idiot.

Then we come to the intro I'd love to go over this, but I'll save that for later

Now we come to the scene where she tries to get all the fan girls to leave. Pants's pretty pathetic at her job, I mean really, when it comes down to it there are a lot better ways to handle things. I mean I'm not an advocate for violence, but she's a perfect so I mean she has certain privileges, and have you ever sat through a detention, after about an hour of doing nothing you want to find gun and blow your brains out. Truly personally experience here, it is boring as fuck, friends in there with you or not. Its miserable and I'm sure it would handle a few rambunctious girls, if that doesn't work then fail them. All of them. It'll work I'm telling ya. But what does this little brainless pansy do, she tries the diplomatic route. Clearly its having no effect either. And you would think after having done that every night for the past I don't know year or so she'd at least have better comebacks.

And when the night class actually comes I love it it's like a parade! I love parades! But really why are all the girls still there? Wouldn't they get bored doing that like every day. That and I really wanted some girl to stick out her foot and trip one of the night class. That would be funny as shit! I would do it for a giggle not going to lie. I'm hated on by dumb ugly hoes anyway, why not have some fun doing it?

Then Aidou gets mobbed over a finger gun might I add. Not going to elaborate much on this but seriously if some guy smiled and said bang to me I'd probably hit him upside the head! You don't shoot girls are an idiot?

And then Pants falls on her ass…again. You know ee should start keeping a tally here, so what is that two, right? I wonder how many times throughout the whole series. My bet is at least fifty. And Perfect reaches down at this time to help her up and she has a creepy flashback. Am I the only one that is creeped out by the blood covered gay guy flash back? I mean he still looks gay by all means, but not covered in blood anymore. The flashback would freak me out too! Ewwww! Blood is gross especially when someone is covered in it! Its not natural! Blood is on the inside not the outside!

Then they have a conversation about him saving her life blah blah blah… who even talks about that. If someone I knew saved me I'd thank them and that would be the end of it. no more awkward talking about it moments. Why? Because its just weird to talk about that kind of stuff! Like talking about sex or something, unless its a joke you don't do it in public, and I mean actually doing it and talking about it. ever walked in to a dressing room and immediately walked right back out?! Well if you haven't' feel lucky, if you have, its fucking awkward isn't' it! or just go ding dong ditch them laughing like hell, but not the point! The point is people don't really have conversations like that!

But this is my favorite part cause BadAss shows up! And in a BadAss way to! I really actually wanted a fight though. He ripped Perfects hand off her head they have a stare down, and then couldn't you just see it! Prince Perfect lunges at BadAss. BadAss slams Perfect's head in to a tree, Perfect goes for BadAss's's throat! Oh man that would be epic! I was so routing for a fight! But no they can't have an epic death in the first episode so BadAss just tells Perfect to go to class, they exchange death glares and it's over. The worst part, Perfects comeback sucks hardcore. "You sure are scary" yeah right. If I was Bad Ass I'd have like you're damn straight I'm scary now scurry off to class, freak!

Then some girl gives Perfect Prince a flower, yatta yatta yatta. We have a little get to know you scene with BadAss and Pants, BadAss shows pants how to get rid of the mob. Oh and then the flower dies. How see that and get creeped out by the way? I would freak out! then we see they're here test for the blood tablets, but who really cares about that? Aidou think Zero is a dick, which my first thought to that was, you faggot you just think he's hot. He was drawing pictures of him! Obsessive much? Best part though is the second every one mentions Pants everybody stops and looks over. What the hell? All I've seen Pants do so far is suck at her job, fall down a lot, and have a poor judge of character! Then we have another creepy goth scene and we're back to BadAss and Pants!

I'm so glad I'm not thee only one that can clearly see Pants sucks at her job. BadAss well he's' just spot on there. I think he uses the word useless somewhere. Brownie points for BadAss! It's like he read this or something! Then we have a little Family Matters scene where well I haven't named him have I? Well we will call him Sugar Daddy! Just cause that sounds comical to me. Anyway Sugar Daddy gets no love from BadAss or Pants..sounds like the average American family to me. Then we find out the Sugar Daddy is also Flamingly Gay as he dances around his office. Oh goodie two gay guys. Isn't there like a limit, one gay guy per show? I mean its just too much to handle with two, and they are both obviously gay! Don't get me wrong I love gay guys, best girlfriends you could ever find, but seriously you get them together and that could be a disaster. Then Pants jumps out the window, randomly if you ask me. I was kind of hoping for blood, I mean come on we didn't get to see the perv die!

Then we have the rather boring oral history of Pants and we learn that she is in fact in love with Perfect Prince! OMG I knew it! well looks like we have just predicted the outcome of the whole series. She runs away like a weirdo when someone talks to her. That is weird by the way. I mean who has ever really done that? You don't' just run away! People will start to think you're emo then! well she runs away then sticks her head in a fountain, this girl is not helping her cause here, and while her head is in the fountain she is talking to herself. Creepy…

Then we come to BadAss again. He is sitting in the grass looking very emo/awesome, I swear only boys can pull this look off without looking like a total dufus. Plus we get cool violin music too! Then OMG Zero has the tablets! Ohhhh BadAss and Vampire! Awesome!

Then we switch scenes again and now see that Pants' and BadAss are sleeping in class! My question is why does the boy get away with it? Sexist! That teacher is a Sexist! I say he should get in trouble too! They get what I'm guessing is a Japanese form of detention, but like the Bad Ass he is he leaves! And we see he has one other friend besides Pants, although it's a horse. He couldn't even find a dog for a best friend nope he had to get a horse. I say the Horse should get a lead role in this movie! And it should talk! …And be a Vampire Too! Yay! We found a more interesting character than Pants already! That and the horse shows it hates Pants…wow this horse is getting better and better! Pants and Bad Ass have a pointless conversation and Bad Ass leaves. Then Pants has mental equally pointless rant about BadAss in her head. Great.

Then its night again and BadAss points out Pants is obsessed, Pants denies, average teen sitcom, blah blah blah. Then Bad Ass starts talking again and we realize his hatred for Vampires! What an emo weirdo…And then we learn that Bad Ass has always been a little emo kid, even from the begging, oh how wonderful. More pointless drama!

Then we move into another creepy scene! I'm telling you this show is way goth! And goth as in like pathetic of course. Not saying all people that are Goth are pathetic, its just well come on I've met like maybe a hundred Goths/Emo kid and ninety percent of them just want to be hardcore as hardcore as the other ten percent but don't' have the guts or glam to pull it off.. Anyway so a couple of day class kids are found one is bleeding, I'm not sure why, she is bleeding, usually when I'm bleeding I at least know it and try to stop it somehow. You know basic human survival stuff. Well Aidou and the other guy, can't remember his name and I'm to lazy to look it up come running. Pants pulls out the stick se doesn't know how to use. I mean even I get the point of a stick. Its simple the more hits you can get in the better! Adiou some how gets Pants in his arms and starts to drink. The stupid girl drops her stick. Let me repeat this SHE DROPS THE STICK! Hit the mother fucker up side the head so hard he doesn't even know how old he is! Don't just drop the stick and ask him to please stop, bash his brains out, idiot!

And finally BadAss comes ot the rescue! And he, well he's the smarty here, he's got a gun! With a name too! That's right BadAss may be a damn weirdo, but he just Awesome like that. Then he drops in ratings as he fires and misses! What?! He misses? This is Bad Ass he can't miss, but its all okay cause Prince Perfect just showed up and is going to make it all better! Whatever, makes you happy dude. This kind of reminded me of Shrek where Prince Charming is all like I will smite you with my Good looks and perfect smile! Or something along those lines. Or was that in enchanted? Well Prince Charming and Prince Edward are both Awesome examples. Best line from Enchanted of all time: the squirrel is trying to tell Edward where Gesell is through charades and Edwards first goes : "You would die without me here!" I love that scene, I laugh my ass off every time.

Now Bad Ass gets jealous of Prince Pefect and he storms off taking Pants with them, and they make passionate love in the forest! …or not ya know, it's really up to you where you think he's taking her. My vote is still on the sex thing! They are hormone crazed teens after all. And one is vampire and they likes sex more so its even worse! Zero even takes off his tie!

Then we skip to the bathroom, I'm telling you they made passionate love! That skip leaves too many open ended questions! Zero walks in and takes off his shirt, she acts like she's not comfortable with it, but come on a boy takes off his shirt. I don't know about you, but if a boy takes off his shirt around me for any reason(unless he's like fat and has man boobs) I really don't object, then again I'm a hormone crazed teenager after all. Then he smells her. I don't know if you have ever had a boy smell you before but I don't object to that either. Unless I'm getting back from the gym I usually have body spray on and boys like things that smell good so let him smells you up! Her, well no you see she's just an idiot and gets mad at him for it. Take advantage of the situation you moron! Then Pants keeps talking but I really wasn't paying attention because well BadAss had his shirt off. Like in New Moon all you wait for tin that movie is for Jacob to take his shirt off, without that half the people that went wouldn't have bothered, I am one of that half by the way.

Then the ending Aidou gets smacked by Prince Perfect and we randomly switch to Pants just walking, in a skirt too, who the hell wears skirts that much anyway? When I had a uniform with a skirt I'd wear jeans the second I could, screw the skirt! Then back to Prince Perfect, he goes to the window looks out and drinks his own blood, wow how dramatic. And there you have it the end!


End file.
